


Amorous Llama are Not Our Friends

by mari4212



Category: Road to El Dorado (2000)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 02:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mari4212/pseuds/mari4212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tulio should never let Miguel talk him into anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amorous Llama are Not Our Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caitirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitirin/gifts).



> I also wrote your yule fic. This mini-plot bunny hit me, and I couldn't resist.

The llama sidled closer again, which he hadn't thought was even possible, considering how close it had been a moment before, and nibbled lightly on his hair. Disgusting, and the clods of dirt that crumbled off the edge of the ledge at the motion just proved that this plan was too stupid for words.

Tulio should have known better. Really, as if the whole Barcelona experiment hadn't convinced him that Miguel's purpose in life was to get him involved with things that were going to get him killed, El Dorado should have been proof. It only got worse when Chel joined in on things, because she was absolutely fearless, plus he had a lot less pull with her than he had with Miguel. With Miguel, at least Tulio was able to guilt him into staying somewhat calm for a minute or two, owing to the number of times they'd ended up running for their lives after Miguel leapt into something heart first, brain not engaged.

But Chel, Chel just ran straight into the danger without anything more than an amused look over her shoulder, a "you're not really going to hide and let me have all the fun, tough guy?" look that somehow stopped his logical "we're all going to die!" arguments cold. And between her not knowing anything about reasonable limits and Miguel's softhearted attempts to save the personal day of anyone pretending to be more pathetic than they were, Tulio was outnumbered and defenseless.

And that's how he ended up trapped on a very small ledge of a very high cliff with some stupid village kid's pet llama, instead of staying safely on the nice flat area of ground where he belonged. Because obviously he was the best choice to be lowered down on a very unsafe-looking rope, to tie it as a harness around the stupid llama and let it be towed up to safety again. He really regretted having ever been a sailor, even if it had only been for a season's tour on a fishing boat. Beyond the absolutely disgusting smell of fish, the sheer amount of hard physical labor it had involved, and his complete inability to use a sextant to navigate, it meant that he was the one getting sent down a mountainside. He should never have let Miguel know he could tie all forms of knots. Two years ago, when he admitted it, he should have known that letting Miguel know about any skill he possessed was the perfect invitation to endanger his life in a wildly dangerous way.

Unfortunately, the llama had apparently decided that it didn't care that much about being towed to safety. When Tulio had been lowered down onto the ledge, the llama had been frozen stiff, to all appearances too afraid to move. That changed as soon as it laid eyes upon its reluctant rescuer. Rather than staying put and allowing itself to be tied into a harness, it cuddled up against him, making low, urgent noises and shooting him calf-eyes.

And yeech, "Your llama just licked me!" he yelled up to a laughing Miguel. The llama, showing a blithe ignorance of human body-language and tone of voice, seemed to take that as an encouragement, and continued giving Tulio's neck and left ear a slobbery tongue-bath.

…Some days, it just didn't pay to get out of your bedroll.


End file.
